I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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