Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
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