I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
