the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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