I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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