I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
