i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
