Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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