We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
no more duck duck goose at the bar
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
