My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i want to swaddle you in tequila
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
