Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
