At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
