when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
