I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
