problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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