Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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