Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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