you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
