I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
