He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
this will be a night to untag.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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