I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
