Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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