drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I just blew my weed a kiss
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
