who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
