dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
