We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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