What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
