What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
