I think I just saw someone hide a body.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
