My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Randomize
