Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
she peed on how many people?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
