ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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