dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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