Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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