is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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