Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
