? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
