I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
