Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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