Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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