i'm signing you up for texting rehab
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Randomize
