I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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