I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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