She said her name was "party"
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
