I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
