3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
