yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
thus making me awesome and them whores
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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