just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
