Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
