his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
