I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
